H Kaur - 2002

Bibi H Kaur

My Spiritual Journey

“Bhag Hoa Gur Sant Milaayaa – by great good fortune I met the Sant-Guru” – Gurbani.

First of all I offer countless prostrations (dandauth bandhna) at the feet of Baba ji.  Only through His Eternal Blessings have I been blessed with divine wisdom.  I am an extremely lowly person who knew nothing of Gurbani.  I grew up in India, in a house near the Gurdwara.  I used to go their every day and listen to the daily prayers (nitnem).  However, I did not understand any of it.  I couldn’t understand the divine words of Gurbani no matter how much I wanted to.   So I prayed to God, “Bless me so that one day I am able to understand Gurbani.  May I surrender my mind, body and soul all to you.  Just attach me to the love of your Lotus feet.”

In 1995, our whole family emigrated to Canada.  My mind was full of anxiety about if we would be able to settle down.  So our prayers were full of wants for our worldy affairs to be taken care of.  By praying like that, I didn’t realise at that time, how far I was from God.   However, things were going to change.  Two months later my health suddenly deteriorated and I was hospitalized.   I was tested and diagnosed as having too much acid in my body.  I was given all kinds of medicines and was told I would have to take these for the rest of my life.

Back at home I went to collect the rent from our basement tenants.  They were a very blessed family.  I told them that I was very unhappy with my life in Canada.  They encouraged me to start doing Naam simran and told me they follow a Sant.  I went with them to meet their Sant. He told me to get intiated as a Sikh and to start doing “Satnaam Waheguru” simran.  The following Vasaikhi I was initiated.   Everyday I read the daily prayers as instructed (nitnem).  I used to attend sangat at the Gurdwara and even stayed overnight for Rensbhaee Kirtan programmes.   I maintained a good discipline of getting up early at Amritvela, having a shower and going to the Gurdwara.  But, still I was not blessed with the Immortal Being’s Darshan (sacred vision).

Then in 2000, I heard that a very blessed soul, Baba Ji, was coming to the Gurdwara in the early hours to listen to Asa-di-Var (morning prayer).  So I also made an effort to get to the Gurdwara for Asa-di-Var.   I would watch Baba ji sitting in deep meditation (samadhi).   Soon afterwards sangat started at Baba Ji’s house and other people’s houses.  I started attending those blessed sangats.  The first time I went, I saw there were many, many people attending, some of whom went into samadhi and asans (spontaneous postures eg outstretched arms welcoming God into their heart “baah ludaaiyaa”).  Others would have shining faces and smiling and laughing as they meditated.  My mind realised that this was a very special sangat.  The next time I went to the sangat, they were all sitting in the presence of Baba ji doing their “Sat Naam” Simran.   I could feel the divine joy all around.   Many were enjoying samadhi.   I went to Baba Ji and humbly requested him that may I also experience the divine joy samadhi and asans.  And Baba Ji replied kindly, “you will also be blessed, just do Naam Simran.”   It was then only a matter of time before my eyes also started closing in the sangat, going into smadhi and incredible asans.  My body became overflowing with amrit (divine energy) and I was blessed to remain in samadhi for quite a long time.   The sangat was also intoxicated and coloured in the love of the Naam.  When I opened my eyes, Baba ji was standing infront of me and said,  “you are a very blessed and fortunate soul.  You have received the divine light – Jyot.  Now look after it by doing your SatNaam Simran every day without fail.  We have blessed you to have gone directly into the fourth realm ( Karam Khand – the real of Grace), but now you yourself  are going to have to make the efforts to get to Sach Khand (Realm of Truth).”

From that day onwards I started getting up at 3am and sat for 4 to 5 hours in samadhi doing naam simran.  After a few days, I felt my body expand and I saw amazing things.   Sometimes I felt I was flying upwards and I could see mountains and beautiful gardens.  In my hirdha (spiritual heart chakra) I could feel Naam Simran repeating automatically 24 hours a day without stop.  Even when I lay down to sleep, I could feel the Naam simran pounding inside my chest area.   It felt like there was a motor running inside me.  Then I felt Naam simran go into every bit of the body (Rom Rom).

One day whilst sitting in Samadhi, God showed me hell.   First, I saw a courier of death (jam dhoot) with huge fangs.   Then I started seeing the rest of hell.  I saw a huge river of blood into which many creatures were being thrown.  They were screaming.   Then they were chopped into pieces by demons with huge daggers and thrown into a huge fire.   Then I saw huge green snakes who gave more pain to these creatures by biting them.  When I came out of my samadhi I was very scared.

I told Baba Ji about this in the sangat, and he said “Don’t be scared, you have been shown hell, but you are yet to see much more!  Do more Naam Simran (don’t fear and stop).  Only Naam is going to help you.  Otherwise, the couriers of death will come for you like you have been shown happening to others.”  On hearing Baba Ji’s words, I became even more focused on Naam and had full faith that everything Baba Ji said was the complete Truth. 

The next day in samadhi, I saw a huge cave.  I passed it and saw Baba Ji sitting on a thrown and two devotees were waving a fan (chaur) above him.  Then I saw Shotee Mata ji next to him on a golden throne.   Then I was blessed with the holy vision of many other great souls (Maha Purash) whose names I don’t know. 

Following this, my daily practise of samadhi became 100% solid.   Whenever I would sit in samadhi I would see many Devi-Devtas (demi-gods) and Shiv Ji as well.  One day I saw a beautiful marble palace surrounded by  flowers and green grass.  Its very difficult to describe the wonder of it all.  Around the palace there were showers of Amrit.   Also in Samadhi I often see Gurdwaras whose beauty I cannot describe.  Also I have been blessed with vision of the Divine Light (Parkaash Darshan).

One morning, a light came from my left side near the ear and moved to the centre of my forehead, then it expanded into a flood of light.  Then Hanuman came and bowed his head to us and pointed.  I went in that direction and saw all ten Guru Masters absorbed in their own Samadhi surrounded by Divine Light.  One night I awoke suddenly and was blessed to see the tenth Guru on a white horse.  My eyes were struck with bright light and Guru ji said, “Its time to get up and bathe and do your simran.”  I jumped up and pressed my forehead on Guru Ji’s holy feet and begged for forgiveness and started doing my Simran. Guru ji came closer and stood by me and said the Gur Fateh!  I fell at his lotus feet and started crying. “Maharaj I am such a big sinner.  How come I am blessed with your divine vision?”   I also conversed further but don’t remember about what.   Guru ji said to us kindly, “Everything is just fine.  Just keep doing more Simran. All of you (Baba Ji's sangat) are going to be ferried across.”  Then he got back on his horse and rode away.

Now, everyday I go into samadhi and my soul leaves the body to see wonderful things.   A golden carriage  comes for my astral body to ride in (Baba Ji blesses his devotees with a golden carriage to go around spiritual realms as he treats them like royalty).  I see endless Divine Light (Parkaash)  and travel further and further into it.  Then I see many souls sitting as sangat absorbed in their samadhi.  There is such divine and joyous kirtan that I cant describe the feeling.   And to top it all I am blessed to have Baba Ji’s divine vision at that place.

GOING TO SACHKHAND IN A BUCKET

One day in samadhi, infront of us appeared a glass bucket with Baba Ji next to it.  Baba Ji said, “Sit in this bucket.”  But I was scared and did not get in!  Baba Ji reassured me and said, “don’t be scared, I am with you.”  I got in and found it was absolutely beautiful.  The inside was studded with diamonds and it was surrounded with Divine Light upon Divine Light.  It felt like I was moving at very high speed upwards.  Then I reached a very beautiful place which I can’t describe.  Baba Ji spoke and said, “This is Sach Khand.”  Kabir Ji writes about this state (SGGS 482):

sur nar mun jan kouthak aaeae kott thaethees oujaanaa(n) ||

kehi kabeer mohi biaahi chalae hai purakh eaek bhagavaanaa ||3||2||24||

The angles, holy men, silent sages, and the 330 million demi-gods

have come in their heavenly chariots to see this spectacle.

Says Kabeer, I have been taken in marriage

by the One Supreme Being..

In Samadhi I see so many more amazing sights and are blessed with visions of great souls.  This is all an Eternally Blessed Game (GurParsaadi Khed).  I am but a lowly and homeless creature.  I am just the dust of the entire sangat and Baba Ji’s feet.  I never even thought for a moment that I would ever be blessed like this.  I am forever indebted in my heart to Sant SatGuru Baba Ji  for Eternally Blessing me with doing Bandagi (divine slavery).   At the feet of the Supreme Transendental Being and of Baba Ji, I place my palms together and pray that they keep their hand, full of  kindness, over my head and help me to successfully complete the remainder of my journey.

This is a true story of Eternal Blessings.  God and Guru Ji have bestowed their kindness and enabled me to write it.

Dust of the entire sangat,

H. Kaur